the first night i had after admitting pete to the hospital i slept at my sister's house. i woke up early that morning thinking about every possibility of what could happen. i have to be honest that at that time i had very little hope for a positive outcome. i found myself pleading for one more day with him, one more chance to have him at home. after my pleading i started questioning if i had done enough to deserve him back. i found a tad bit of hope in the oddest thing. i started thinking about how my whole life had been full of small mishaps and inconveniences. for example, i always hit every red light when i'm driving. i always pick the longest check-out line even if it looks the shortest. i've never won a raffle prize. i end up 1/2 yard too short of fabric on important projects only to find that no stores carry that fabric anymore. you get the point? just a bunch of random things that don't go my way; it has been that way my whole life. for the 1st time i had a little bit of hope that all of those mishaps were actually going to pay off in my favor. i couldn't help but think that they would all add up to equal something really positive. i took all those mishaps to the bank in hopes that i had done enough to cash them all in and get my husband back.
of course i know that's not how the world works or how Heavenly Father answers prayers, but in that moment it was the only hope i could find. because it did pay off in my favor i committed to a lifetime of small inconveniences. i'm prepared for that and willing to wait in a check-out line forever; it's a small price to pay to have pete back. and, don't be surprised if i'm sitting at every red light you pull up to; just know i'll be grateful to be sitting there; i won't be annoyed by it anymore. :)
11 comments:
I have to say, I kind of feel the same way about praying for people to be healed. Over the years I've had several people I love get sick. I've prayed and prayed for them to get better and even some to get a miracle. The miracles never came in the form of complete healing for those people. The answers always seemed to be no. Things had gotten to the point where I felt maybe I shouldn't pray for people when they get sick because I had some kind of jinx- they only got worse.
The moment I found out about Pete I threw all that out the window and honestly begged for Pete to get better. I knew how much you and your children needed him, how much he loves you guys, and how much all of you would miss out on on this side of the veil if you weren't together.
Pete's miracle has brought about a little miracle for me. I'm grateful for my renewed faith in the healing power of prayer!
Love you!
i'm with you on this Jen some how that night I was thinking that by some of the mishaps that I had to deal with if that is what I HAD TO DO..to help fight for Pete's LIFE I was up for that fight in what every my battle was to fight If I was taking something to the bank for you guys I'll do it as many times as I have to maybe I'll be happy to say with my mishap I was just takin it to the bank remember I'll always do what I have to for you;)I see it all coming to pass what about you??
I definately think that trade is worth it. :)
Go Jenny!....Go Jenny!.....Go Jenny!
Hi Jen, Thank you so much for your insights and wisdom. You express yourself so well. I have enjoyed reading your comments so much. Wow, what an amazing wife and mom you are. This experience has really strengthened my testimony of the power of prayers, miracles, and tender mercies in our lives. Somtimes I have wondered if other people's prayers are answered, but not mine. I don't feel that way anymore. You have been in my prayers as well as Pete, because I know you need strength, comfort, and energy to take care of your family. I love those pillows you made with the words "Joy" and "Peace." They really capture my feelings as well. May you be blessed and watched over in all you do. Love, Aunt Nina
sounds like things are still going good. some things in life we can not change. It is our choice to accept and make the best of our situation, or dwell on the poor me attitude. You have always been an over achiever, and strived to make things more bearable.. This fabric situation is getting more frustrating(grrr) everyday.I don't like it either. Love ganny
Hey Jen, Pete is acquiring a bigger FAN CLUB. I just can't believe that. oh well when he gets out of control with this famous status, just remind him hey dear hubby. I am the one that gave you CPR. You know I am kidding big time!!!!!!!!! Hope all is going fantastic.... Love ganny
waiting in a long line is always an opportunity to talk to those waiting with you. Who knows what a word of encouragement can do for a stranger!
good trade off!
I'll be at the light too...unless I've just run it ;)
Love you
I love this post...I can totally see your brain working this out...
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