Wednesday, December 22, 2010

miracles on june 21

this last year i definitely learned a lesson about miracles.
i'm learning that miracles don't just happen when life or death is on the line,
they can and do happen anytime, anywhere, or to anyone.
my foot doctor reminded me of that today.
he has come up with a surgical plan to improve the muscular structure of my leg,
which in turn will improve my whole body.
he plans to shorten my achilles tendon, re-route the tendon from my big toe to my achilles muscle, and fuse my big toe,
and he reminded me that this is a miracle,
a miracle that bodies have many parts that can perform more than one function depending on where they are attached.
and i feel grateful to be a recipient of this physical miracle,
grateful that i have enough working parts to be able to move them around.
oh, and so grateful to have the A-team doctor performing this miracle.
he certainly has a gift that is far more reaching than just his medical expertise.
he has a gift to not only physically heal but to also soothe a soul.
i walk out of his office every time smiling, and believing in myself more.
he has reminded me again and again that i am special and full of strength.
today he told me that for all the things that i have wrong with my leg that i "look pretty damn good".
he is amazed at how i've compensated.
he can't believe i have the amount of balance of that i do.
he speculated that it must partly come from a strong brain and will because the physical strength isn't there enough to support what i can do.
he said that out of all the patients he has seen he could only compare the mental strength to one other.
i was highly complimented
and very much reminded of that person that is buried somewhere inside.

i will certainly not forget this type of miracle either,
and i look forward to it being fully manifest.
june 21, 2011 is the scheduled day for this miracle to take place.

Monday, December 20, 2010

the most beautiful gift

i recently read this message from love and logic,
and it has stuck in my head.
perhaps it has even contributed to my lack of blogging lately.
i'm still always trying to find balance,
particularly with this topic that i feel so strongly about.
i know it is somewhat of a long message,
but it is worth the read.
i hope that each of you find balance and true happiness through this season and the upcoming year.

"Have you noticed how much effort some folks put into finding just the right Christmas gifts for their child? I bet you know someone who doesn't think twice about spending endless hours - or even days - scouring store shelves for that awesome action figure, digital doodad, or doll their child has been wanting.
Let's think about it. Is there anything wrong with this? What's the problem with spending lots of time and energy looking for neat and nifty Christmas gifts for our kids?
Nothing. But…
What happens when we exert more energy on finding these gifts than showing our youngsters what a gift they are to us?
Ouch! I've done this. Yes, I've fallen into this trap! I've worn-out myself trying to make things perfect that I've forgotten the most perfect gift of all: the expression of never-ending, unconditional love.
We're all wired to need it. All of us yearn for a relationship with someone who will love us forever, regardless of how stinky we behave. Isn't this the greatest gift we can give our loved ones? Isn't this what Christmas is really about?
During this Christmas season, my hope is that you'll…
  • spend more time playing with your kids than you spend shopping for them;

  • remember that the gift they really yearn for is you;

  • hug them and smile into their eyes as often as possible; and

  • show them through your never-ending love what a precious gift they are."

Sunday, December 19, 2010

dear santa

dear santa,
i know it's almost christmas,
but i've heard you sometimes need last minute christmas ideas.
so, if you're still looking,
here are some suggestions...

a new cookbook...

a new skirt or pj pants...
the following are from downeast in size medium.

some salt and pepper shakers...
these are from macy's; i like these styles but don't have to be these.

a new wallet...
these are all from target, and i like them all.

hope this letter gets to you, santa!
wink, wink.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

time vs. task & a few other things

i sometimes go through relationships doubting if the person even has a clue who i am.
or other times i hope i can act a certain way and that person won't know exactly how i am,
especially if it involves revealing a weakness.
and even in marriage these feelings sometimes happen.
particularly i wonder if pete really knows who i am and how i operate.
i'm reminded on many occasions that he really does know.
and in some instances he sees it even more clearly than i do.
that's one of many reasons why i love being married to him.
and i'm so grateful he hit the nail on the head tonight.
that's where the time vs. task thing comes in.

i am a time person.
everything revolves around what time it is and how long it takes to do something.
if the time i have alloted for a task comes before i've finished my task,
then it's like my brain can't compute.
if i have to spend more time,
then it feels like i've wasted so much time.
even a completed task feels meaningless if it took more time than i had planned.
if you are a mother,
and if you are understanding anything i'm saying about time,
then i'm sure you can relate to how difficult a day can go with 3 children under 5.
my days have been rather frustrating as of late.

pete is a task person.
he starts a task and works on it until it is finished.
sometimes it takes him the whole evening to do one task
(like hanging christmas lights last night.)
i have to admit he sometimes drives me crazy.
i wonder how he can spend the whole evening only doing one thing.
he never cares about how much time it takes him to do something.
he's that way with the children, too,
and i think that's one reason why he is such a great dad.
i silently watch him with the children never being worried about time,
and i watch how at ease the children are when they are with him.
i have envied that,
and i have wanted to be that.
but it does not commute.
in my attempt the last 2 months to model that,
our days have been a disaster.
with a capital D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R!
i felt like there has been no order,
the children don't know what to expect,
and i have felt crazy and out of control.

tonight pete gave me permission to be me.
i guess encouragement is a better way of saying it.
he encouraged me to just be me.
and it was nice to hear that things work well when i'm operating how i'm programmed.
so, i'm going to remember that there's balance in all things,
and that is why pete & i are so good together.
i can't be him,
nor do i need to be.
and i'm pretty certain he would be crazy if he was me.
so, that's why i'm remembering balance in all things.
that's why tomorrow i'm going back to a tighter schedule,
but remembering that time is never wasted.
anything i do in my home and with my children is never wasted,
even if it takes me 10 extra minutes.

Monday, December 6, 2010

frozen grapes

i'm always looking for fun snacks to feed my children.
preferably healthy things.
but how many exciting ways can you really serve a carrot stick?
well, i've found a great thing that is a must try.
we've been eating frozen grapes,
and i must admit my kid's go crazy for these,
and not to mention that i have a tendency to not stop either.
they are so simple to make.

these are the steps...
1. buy a bag of red grapes
2. was them
3. spread them in a single layer on a plate or cookie sheet
4. put them in the freezer for 2 hours
5. take them out and eat right away; they are best before they get too thawed out

i almost find myself smiling thinking of how much we love this snack.
you must try it.
and, please, leave me any other simple, healthy snack ideas.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

becoming like a child

i love that children are so uninhibited.
if they feel like doing something,
then they do it.
if they feel like teaming up with every kid at the playland to play a game,
then they do it with no hesitation.
if they are thinking something,
then they say it.
they do not seem to be inhibited by the analytical part of adulthood.
that is what i have been learning from my children lately,
especially sam.
he has been loving to write in notebooks.
he is always drawing pictures to "mail" to his friends,
he is "writing stories",
and just doodling anything in his brain.
if the urge hits him,
then he acts upon it,
even if it's at bed time.
i spontaneously find him drawing in his notebooks while he's in bed.
i love spying on him from the hallway without him knowing i'm there.
i gain inspiration from him.
i'm inspired to create more,
especially when there's something in my brain to create.
hurrying around, wasting time on unnecessary errands or cleaning tasks are not what a child would do,
and i don't want to do that so much anymore either.
i would prefer to become like a little child.
in so many ways they've got it all figured out.

and will is no different.
that boy loves his rest,
and he never feels restrained.
if he feels tired,
then he lays down and takes a rest.
what a lesson to learn!
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