Wednesday, July 14, 2010

the nights

I don’t love the nights here.
I feel really restless
And tired.
I always want to be doing
something that I brought along,
Hand sewing, journal, reading.
I’m always too tired
And somewhat disoriented.
I get really scared, too.
Mostly scared that the boys aren’t ok upstairs
Or scared that Maggie is missing.
Then I have really bad/weird dreams.
And the bed is not comfortable.
The bed frame is not big enough for the mattress.
I don’t even feel rested when I wake up.
The nights are what I look most forward to about being home.
And the dreams.
I hope my dreams aren’t so weird then.

i wrote this post while in oregon.
i was hopeful about nights at home.
at least my bed is comfortable,
and i'm not worrying about the children.
but the dreams are not better.
last night i was dreaming that pete was having an affair with a really skinny girl.
if you guessed i'm having body image problems,
then you guessed right.
i know i shouldn't have to keep reminding myself that pete will not have an affair because i'm still 10 lbs. overweight.
i know better.
i know he doesn't even notice.

in a good way.


Arin and Troy said...

I am always having dreams that Troy is cheating on me and when I find out he couldnt care less that I know. I always try and physically harm him, but like in any dream, I am always moving in slow motion. Very frustrating...that is funny though. I think Troy and Pete are both husbands that would never have an affair. Like I said before, Troy would smack me before he would cheat on! :)

katwalk said...

I used to they those dreams too.........all I have to say is if either of every did I would diffently physically harm both of them so don't worry if your moving in slow motion I'll get em lol jk not

Ganny said...

If it might help your ego, I have the same dreams regularly about PAPA. I dream he is always moving out or moving back home. Now that is weird dreams. hee hee. I always laugh when I wake up. Of all the men in the whole universe he would have been the less likely

sugar&sweet said...

funny..but,,i have almost the same like your feel so uncomfortable and sometimes i did not sleep again after the bad dream,
and dont know how to erase it on my mind.
but they said our bad dreams sometimes,its opposite of the reality and truth..
and you are so beautiful and a good wife.pete cant find a woman like you.

design by