Miracles do Happen

Jen and I are sitting here in rotten chairs (no we don't have the benefit of naugahyde like some of you hospital regulars do), eating old ham and cheese sandwiches (delicious, by the way Aubrey), and getting oddly giddy and feeling like this is an odd slumber party. We've been laughing, sharing funny, spiritual, and serious experiences. All the while I keep looking over at Pete waiting for him to look at us and roll his eyes as he remembers the way we were when Jen and Pete first hooked up.

The thing is, he is here with us. Pete is fighting, just as no one doubted. He has opened his eyes and actually looked. There is hope. They turned off the cold and are allowing his body to warm up on its own, as fast or slow as that may be, with only the help of a couple of warm blankets. The paralysis meds are off, and the sedation medication is light. Now we wait. What the next 24, 48, or however many hours tell, all we can do is wait. The miracle of it all, is things are looking positive. That's not to say they will tomorrow or the next day, but now it's true. His heart is working far better than yesterday, lungs and kidneys are functioning so much better, and he's freaking opening his eyes!! What more could we ask for at this moment??

As your sweet, pregnant wife curls up in an upright chair and goes to sleep (don't worry, she can pretty much sleep anywhere at all), all I can say is FIGHT PETE, just keep FIGHTING. We love you. You are needed.

Until tomorrow,

Roxey

Please ignore any discrepancies in this post. I'm had and it's 2 am....

Thanks Sam

Sam has been really concerned about his Dad. He wanted to go and buy Pete a remote control car so they went this morning and got one. He also thought it would be a good idea to buy him a light saber. He chose green because his Dad is "one of the good guys". He also wanted him and his Dad to wear their Superman shirts today. Thanks Sam, now I think your Dad has everything he needs to be the best fighter he can be. :)

-Arin (jen's sister)

Update

I am blogging in behalf of Jen right now. She just informed me that Pete has woken up for a small moment. She does not any one to have a sense of false hope. It is a good sign, but not any sign of being out of the woods. His body temp is at 33 degrees until 11:00 tonight (it has been since 11:00 last night) in order to preserve the cells in the brain and other reasons I don't completely understand. At 11:00 tonight they will slowely begin to warm him up, which will then tell more of the future. For Pete to open his eyes, and squeeze the nurses hand is huge in my book. Not knowing the future, at least she was able to look in his eyes.

The nurse asked him to move his feet and give a thumbs up, neither of which he was able to do. BUT, considering his body is 33 degrees and he is sedated....this is amazing. They have now sedated him again, as they don't want him awake that cold. So again, time will tell. I will update again tonight.

FIGHT PETE!

Roxey

please hope for this

if we can please any form of this wonderful person back we will be satisfied for lifetimes. please continue to hope that this wonderful person is not gone yet.

i can do hard things

this was recently the subject of a post i read on a friend's blog. i read it over and over again and pondered if i had been asked to do hard things in my life, and i concluded that i had not. that is no longer the case. i have spent the last 24 hours enduring something harder than i ever imagined i would be expected to do.
last night pete had a major cardiac arrest in his sleep. he is alive and not conscious, and the outcome is looking bleak. they are still saying that he has a 2-5 % survival rate right now. he is very sick. the best things he has going for him is that he is young, strong, and healthy. the other thing is that it was a witnessed cardiac arrest and that everything happened as quickly and exactly as it could have. i was the one who witnessed the arrest. i called 911 immediately and began administering cpr the second he stopped breathing. the attending officer and first paramedic to arrive were people who knew pete and who loved him. that certainly added to the intensity of his care by no coincidence.
my brain is really full, and my heart is really empty. i have so many emotions that i may be sharing here; i need them out. so many memories, too. i didn't know a human heart could hurt this much; i didn't know i would be so lost without him.
i keep wondering if i can do hard things. in my wondering i have had overwhelming confirmation that i can do hard things, but i don't want to. i don't want to do anything without him. i would do any hard thing if i could just have him back.




i know many of you will be very concerned by this news. there is nothing that can be done right now, and everything that can be done is being done. this blog will try to be maintained with updates. please feel free to contact me through the comment section or through email, but i will probably be too distracted to respond in a timely manner.
if you are one of my clients, then please consider any scheduled hair appts. canceled. i know i will be taking a long break from doing hair. plus, my flat iron broke, and pete was going to fix it yesterday; that was the plan. but please don't get too comfortable somewhere else. i will need your support back at some unspecified time.

the older sibling reactions

sam & will have been quite interested in the new baby. sam started asking when his baby sister would be here before i even knew i was pregnant. he never wavered; he always thought we were having a girl. will's guesses were funny; if i ever asked him in private what we were having he would always say a girl. however, anytime he heard sam say a girl he would quickly fire back that it was a boy. he's a bit of an antagonizer. :) their reactions after seeing the ultrasound pictures...

sam... "i didn't know there was really a baby in your tummy; i thought you were just eating a lot of food!" thanks, sam, glad to clear that up. after looking at the pictures he said, "where's maggie's curly hair?"

will... he didn't say much; he just started carrying around his baby doll again when we got home. he did tell pete tonight that "i baby."

it will certainly change the dynamics of our family to add a 3rd child, but i am excited to feel like a full-fledged family. for crying out loud, we will have 3 kids now!!

the big reveal

a thousand thoughts have been going through my brain.
the emotions were overwhelming at times as i saw that precious baby on the screen.
the miracle of it all is more than i have words to express.
the other amazing part was discovering that my instincts were right.
we are have a baby girl.