Sunday, May 30, 2010

chapters 21-30

i didn't go to church today.
i stayed home with my sick baby,
and we went on a walk.
i'm so glad we did.
it has been the 1st real spring day here,
and it was beautiful.
i was soaking up the perfect air and blue skies,
and i was reminded of a post i read on a friend's blog about the chapters of her life.
it dawned on me to enjoy this moment,
to hold onto it,
that i wouldn't be writing this particular chapter of my life forever.
in fact, i could be writing a new chapter very soon.
isn't that how life happens?

i was overwhelmed with emotion as i realized that perhaps i have written the very best chapters of my life that will ever be written at the base of these beautiful foothills.
it has been in this great valley that i wrote the chapters of...

my college degree, my professional training, and career,
not just marriage,
but the evolvement from a happy newlywed "playing house"
to a solid 10 year relationship with the best companion, lover, and friend that this girl ever could've asked for.
our first home,
problems and all.
even our first and only dog we will ever have.
the birth of my first child,
and then a 2nd,
and then a 3rd,
and all the joy that comes with each one,
all the tender moments,
all the challenging moments of personal growth & development.
all of these chapters have been written here.

oh, and lets not forget the chapter of life,
of almost losing the life of my husband,
to have it restored with completeness.
a new life.
a happier life.

all the chapters of my very most important "firsts" have been written in the walls of this home in this great valley.
there has been so much longing for other things in the undertones of each of these chapters,
longing for a different house,
a different location,
a different adventure,
and a different person than who i have been,
a skinnier person,
a stronger person,
a healthier person,
a freer person,
a better person.

all in a moment on our walk this morning
i knew with conviction that i didn't want these chapters to be re-written in any other way.
not in a different house,
not in a different location,
not a different adventure,
and not even a different person than i have been.
the chapters i have written over the last 11 years are the ones that i will want to read over and over again when i'm at the end of my life.

inevitably new chapters will be written.
i don't want my story to end at age 31.
there will be new chapters,
and i will be grateful for those, too,
but i'm certain none will be quite like these.
what a story.
what a story.


Meghan said...

i really love this. and needed to hear it today. i love my chapters too... but sometimes it's easy to think there is another more exciting book out there. i wouldn't change my chapter for the world. thanks for the reminder

Arin and Troy said...

Such a good post to read as I am starting a new chapter in life. Hopefully the chapters I write in Idaho will be better than all the rest. :)

design by