Monday, June 28, 2010


i came on this vacation with a few things i would like to work on.
i've once heard that it only takes 21 days to form a habit.
with that in mind, i have convinced myself to really focus on a few things the whole time we are here,
and i hope by the time we return home these improvements will stick.
at the top of my list is listening.
i want to be a better listener.
i don't just mean listening in a conversation.
i want to really "hear" what people are telling me when they talk.
i want to really "hear" what my children are telling me when they talk.
i want to really "hear" what they are telling me when they don't talk.
i want to really "hear" what my body tells me the things i need.
and i want to really listen to my heart.
this is much harder than it sounds.

i have been walking in the mornings.
it's nice to focus on listening before my family even wakes up.
as i walk i try to not let my mind wander.
i only listen.
i listen to the sound of my feet on the asphalt.
i listen to the birds.
i listen to the flowing stream that i walk along.
it's hard to listen.
as soon as i hear something my mind starts to wander.
i love the drill of bringing it back to listening.

it's hard to just listen.
i have been made aware of that.
i'm learning that listening also happens by looking.
i am cherishing the time spent watching my children.
i am learning so much about them.
i am "hearing" sam say he needs more encouragement, more assurance that the things he does has value.
i am "hearing" will say that he loves his space but he wants to be held some times, too.
i am "hearing" maggie when she just wants to be put down.
i'm listening to their stories, too.
sometimes they just want me to listen to their knock knock jokes and really "hear" them,
not just pretend i do by giving them a courtesy laugh.
i haven't quite tapped into hearing exactly what i'm saying
or even what pete is saying;
he speaks so quietly that he's easy to not hear.

i'm glad we have 3 more weeks to focus on this.
i'm getting better every day.

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