the right timing

i know it has been awhile; lots of baby girl prep going on around here. i've had a recurring memory through all this preparation. the timing of this baby just feels so right. that is a stark contrast to how we felt over a year ago.

last january pete and i were both ready to get pregnant again. we both had an overwhelming feeling that it was not the right time. my instinct went a little farther than that. i had a very blatant insight and an overwhelming feeling that went just like this: "now is not the right time. you don't know what's going to happen." it was such an undeniable impression that i was convinced to not try to get pregnant then. i questioned it a lot though, wondering what would happen. i kept thinking that something was going to happen to one of the boys or i was going to get sick or we were going to have to move away. i had a whole list of things that could happen. needless to say, pete having a cardiac arrest was not on that list. however, i'm so grateful for that specific impression because had i gotten pregnant around the time we wanted to i would've been having a baby exactly at the time pete had his incident. that would've only added to the nightmare.

now here we are at the right time. it feels like the right time; it felt like the right time when we got pregnant. we are getting excited to welcome this new baby into our family. my due date is still 4 weeks away, but my doctor seems to think that i won't make it longer than another week. i'm dilated to a 2 and 80% effaced and having contractions, back pain, and cramps. these were the exact symptoms of my other pregnancies. i'm hesitant to guess a date because i really have no idea how long this could drag on. saturday would be a great day since it is the first day of spring. any other guesses?