today was pete's first day back to work. i was excited for him and overwhelmed that we were getting this chance again. however, i must admit that i was really sad while he was gone; he has been such a pleasant addition to our days around here. it dawned on me that all my wishing in the world wasn't going to re-create the life we have had the last 1 1/2 months of being together non-stop nor was that how it should be. i have realized that a chapter of our lives closed today and another one is beginning. it has certainly felt like an emotional goodbye; because our outcome was so positive i can say with certainty that this experience has been one of the best of my life. nothing has ever changed me so quickly and deeply. i'm certain our new chapter will be full of new joys, disappointments, and trials, and in many ways i'm eager to start this new phase. however, i am not the best with transitions, so i would like a goodbye that feels worthy of closure. i invite you all to be a part of this closure, and here is how i would like to have you do that...
over the next few months i plan on compiling a book for our family documenting this whole event; it will include all the details of pete's incident, posts and comments from this blog, and thoughts and experiences that others have felt and shared. i want it all in one place so that we can recall with exactness for many years to come how this event felt. many of you have made heartwarming posts on your own blogs about pete's incident or about your feelings; i have read many, and i hope to be able to gather all the links so they are easy to access. i would like permission to include these posts in the book. i would also like to include any experience, feeling, or memory that you may have had even if you didn't post it on your blog.
if you would like to participate and are willing to share such thoughts, this is what i would like you to do. please leave a comment; if you are new to blogging and don't know how to do that, it's really simple. click on the 'comments' link at the bottom at this post, and comment box will open. if you don't have an account to sign in with, then just click the 'anonymous' box and post that way. type your comment in the box, enter the word verification, and click the 'publish comment' button. this is what i would like for you to include in your comment:
1. your name
2. how you know us or how you found out about pete's incident
3. the link to your blog post that was about pete; please leave the direct link to the post and not just the link to your blog. if you are unsure how to do this, then go to your blog archives and find the post you are wanting to link to. click on it to open and then copy the url and paste it into the comment.
4. any thought, emotion, insight, etc. that you would not mind sharing and including in our family book.
here's an example:
my name is jennifer. i know pete because i am his lucky wife. i posted about this event on my blog. the link is http://vanderlindenclan.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-can-do-hard-things.html or here. i have many kinds of memories about this event, but one of the funniest memories i have is of pete watching the movie Born Identity in the hospital and being certain it was the british version. i've laughed a lot about that.
as a way of saying thank you for your support during the incident and as a bribe to gather as much information as possible i am offering a gift to one lucky supporter. i have been working on a quilt (the one posted here) since pete has been home, kind of like a therapy quilt. i have decided to give that away to a random commenter on this post. i will use a random generator to select that person and post the winner on sunday. if you really love the quilt and would like more chances to win it, then i will enter your name twice if you are willing to do one more thing for me. if you make a post on your blog or facebook linking to this post, then i will enter you a second time. the reason this would be helpful is because many who read our blog initially through your blog may not be reading ours anymore but may have thoughts to share. if you decide to do this, then leave a second comment with the link to this post that you make.
please help me with this undertaking; i want our story to be as complete as possible. if you have more you would like to share with me, then you can email me at jenvanderlinden@gmail.com. just as a reminder you have until sunday night at 9:00 mst to make your comment to be entered for the prize, but you can comment on this post for the next 6 months if you want to and that would be fine with me; you just won't have a chance to win the quilt.
thank you all for being a part of this.
16 comments:
(wonder if being the first comment helps the random generator lol)
My name is Dana, and I'm Jen's cousin.I posted this http://danaessex.blogspot.com/2009/12/miracles.html.
The whole experience made me realize how much I love my husband too, and how much God really loves and cares for us. Not to mention, of the reminder of how big God is!
He really does listen to the pleadings of our hearts.
1. Kristen Flandro
2. Married to Pete's cousin Spence. We've chatted at family events, etc. We received a call from Spence's mom (Donette) the morning after it happened.
3. I posted a bit here: http://flandrosrus.blogspot.com/2009/12/miracles-and-tender-mercies.html
4. Your experience has affected us a great deal. Being able to follow your thoughts and feelings through this trial in your posts (and Pete's) has brought some great focus into my life and our marriage, and we thank you. It is humbling to watch such a bold miracle in action. An added bonus is our new commitment to take better care of our physical bodies after this solid reminder that our lives can change so quickly and our time here is a gift and very limited. Thanks for letting us all learn from your journey!
1)My name is Andria Shaw Carnell.
2)I grew up in the same stake as Pete. I think he was my TA at one point in school. He's my brother Jon's age.
3)I didn't post about it on my blog, but I certainly followed your blog and all the facebook updates by Roxey.
4)I have learned to forgive faster and get over the small things. I don't want to waste any time with my husband being mad over the little things (or even the big). You have posted about this time and time again and it tugs at my heart each time.
1. i'm meghan
2. you know how i know pete, and you ;)
3. i posted here:
http://mtwebb.blogspot.com/2009/11/please-pray.html
and here:
http://mtwebb.blogspot.com/2009/12/status-update_01.html
(let me know if the private blog gives you an issue pulling the posts)
4. this is hard for me jen...to re-read these and be reminded again the feelings i had and the desperation i felt. i will say, aside from charlie's situation and the loss of my stillborn nephew, your experience affected me more than anything in my adult life... and because i don't think i have the energy to re-write how it has changed me, i will pull a bit from my post. but know, that over the last 2 months it's effect has been even deeper in my relationships and the patience i have for ty and my kids, etc etc etc.
"...but this shook me. it had me questioning, and mad. how could this be meant for his family? he is a good person. she is amazing. how could this young dad be taken from his family? how could he never meet the daughter she is carrying? it was messed up. so i cried and cried for jen. for pete. for those boys. for his mother who is going through this... again.
and for myself. because i am not as good as i could be. i could be with my kids more. i could show my husband i love him more. i could complain less. i could live more. because life is fragile my friends. don't ever think it isn't. and although i thought i had my fair share of perspective, apparently i needed some more. i needed pete and jen to be willing to go through something so horrendous to give that to me. it is a gift. and i hope it stays with me for a very long time."
1. My name is Stephanie.
2. I knew Pete back in Jr. High when we were attending Mueller Park together. My brother in-law Royd White used to be your neighbor, I believe, so I feel like I know you guys through things he's talked about.
3. I posted something on our blog here: http://whitesinlove.blogspot.com/2009/12/perspective.html
4. Your experience inspired me in many ways. It gave me a better perspective on life. It has given me a greater appreciation for my husband, and for things that we sometimes tend to take for granted. It's made me realize, once again, how very precious life is. And that I don't want to take it for granted anymore. Thanks to you both for being so candid and open in your blogs. I find insipiration in them daily.
1. Jennifer Young
2. I know Pete from ATP and got the link to the blog from our Learning Center coordinator.
3. I didn't post a blog about Pete but I have been following this blog and Pete's blog since the accident. It has been nice to get the updates!
4. I have not had the opportunity to meet Pete's wonderful family, from the posts and pictures you have a very beautiful family!! Pete always made class more enjoyable. Even though I only know Pete as a classmate and fellow professional, the idea that the world would have lost such a wonderful spirit was heart breaking. All those that come into contact with Pete are better off for the experience!!
Hi Jennifer:
My name is Jocee Bergeson and I know Pete through his darling wife and hairdresser. I posted about this on facebook:
Jocee Mason Bergeson is hoping and praying that this story has a happy ending for my darling friend (and hair dresser).... http://vanderlindenclan.blogspot.com/November 30, 2009 at 10:36pm
I just remember going through Google Reader looking at various BLOGS and coming across your post. I started crying instantly and when my husband walked in the room he was very confused what was going on. I called my parents & sisters immediately and we were all heartbroken for you. We all hoped & prayed that Pete would like, but I really didn't think he would. I wondered how you were going to go on. I just didn't know what you would do without Pete. I imagined coming to get my hair done and talking about the funeral and everything. I am so glad none of that came to fruition and that you get to keep Pete. I am so happy for your family....we love you!
1. Arin, Jen's sister and Pete's favorite sister-in-law. Right, Pete? :)
2. I only posted on Facebook after it happened to inform people and only on my blog after he was better.
3. The experience affected me in a way that still gives me the chills and brings a tear to my eyes on almost a daily basis. I dont think a day has passed that I havent remembered your phone call to Amy the morning after it happened and you told her he had a 2-5% chance of living and she just started crying and told us that he was going to die. I will never forget that cold, eery feeling that I had listening to you guys' conversation about life insurance and all that stuff. It was an emotion that I can't describe and that I hope we never have to experience again on such a personal level. A million thoughts raced through my mind about the boys not having the father that they love, and a daughter that would never meet him. And, of course, Jenni losing the love of her life. In an instant I pictured your life without Pete being a single mom and never remarrying because you would never find someone that you could love as deeply as Pete. And I thought of how much fun Pete and I used to have together and how we have grown apart over the last few years and I wished that had never happened. I am grateful for the second chance that we all have to rebuild our relationship with Pete with a greater love and appreciation. I really enjoyed the time I spent with Pete in the hospital even if he doesnt remember it. Despite all of the off the wall comments and repeating things OVER AND OVER AGAIN every 5 minutes, we had some good laughs and it felt like spending time with Pete from the early days. I thought it was hilarious when I would tell him why he was in the hospital and he would just be in such disbelief and he would sincerely tell me, "Well, I'm sorry you had to be the one to tell me." Another story, we were watching TV and in my effort to find something other than soap operas, I ran across one of those stations that just plays music. I found a classic rock station that was playing Def Leppord and I was like "how about we just listen to some music. Do you like Def Leppord?" And he just kind of chuckled and said matter of factly, "well, they are a little inappropriate, arent they." Sorry to offend you, Peter. So I found some figure skating and he agreed that was good enough to watch. In an effort to test his memory and brain power I discreetly tried to convince him that we were watching the Olympics and he looked at me like I was some kind of crazy person and said, "Of course its not the Olympics, they dont start until February." Ok, thanks for the reality check, Pete. There are many more funny things he said, but in an effort to not embarrass him, I will leave it at that. Although, I would like to set the record straight on one thing. I asked him what the last thing he remembered before going to bed that night was and I wont post on the blog what he said, but I'm sure you can all figure it out. Of course Jenni left that part of the story out of her recap of the night. I can't imagine why...
P.S. I know I wont qualify to win the quilt, but I know you will make one for me anytime I put in a special order, right? :)
I DON'T WANT TO ENTER FOR THE QUILT, BUT HOPEFULLY SOME ONE WILL FOR SURE ENJOY IT.
Jen, how very blessed I am to have not only a "stong and capable" daughter-in-law but one who is filled with the "pure love of Christ." The scripture in Gal.5:22 has always been a favorite of mine but now it takes on a deeper more profound meaning to me....."the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness and faith." Words cannot express my deep appreciation for you, Pete, Sam and Will...and precious Maggie, whom we are all excited to love and welcome into our family. Jane
don't you think your kind of milking this thing.
whoever you are that keeps leaving stupid, inappropriate comments on mine and pete's blog this is your invitation to please stop reading our blogs. if you have so much of an annoyance with us, then i would hope you would be smart enough to just stop reading. this story doesn't involve you, and we will continue to express our feelings as long as it takes for us to feel better. thanks for leaving.
First of all, "Anonymous" is unbelievable. What a life you must have to waste your time posting comments such as those on Jen and Pete's blogs.
1. Roxey Mabey Catenzaro
2. Kindred spirits with J and grew up with Pete, but mainly became friends as young adults when we lived by each other. It was at that time that I coincidentally introduced Jen and Pete.
4. Received the call from my niece on Sunday evening and my heart stopped. I sat down and began to bawl then immediately called Amy. I found out Jen was just on her way to Amy's house for a bit, so I rushed over there. I remember knocking and Amy having to close the door while I stood on the porch trying to get hold of myself before I could go in.
My heart was broken and aching for my dear friend.
I soon after drove Jen out to the hospital to witness a blessing for Pete. I remember putting my hands on her shoulders and feeling her lean into me like she was going to collapse...maybe I was just imagining that I was helping to hold her up.
We drove home that night and Jen just talked like she was in the fog that she was. I remember her saying she didn't know whether to plan a funeral or Christmas. I didn't know what to say.
Jen fell asleep and I essentially carried her into Amy's house. I lay her on the couch and put a glass of water on the floor by her side. I kissed her on the forehead and felt so much pain for my sister.
The next night I had the privilege of staying at the hospital with J until the wee hours of the morning. We laughed, cried, joked, and mourned for the situation. We also knew that Pete was listening ;).
The next day Pete 'woke up.' It was so shocking needless to say. Amy and I came up that night with the intention of staying as long as J wanted. After a talk with the nurse, reality check I guess, we knew it was best for us to leave. Jen slept that night in the small waiting room on the floor. It was that night that my heart ached again. She was so defeated. She asked me a question that I will not forget, as her eyes were closed with silent tears squeezing out. I reassured her as best I could and quietly walked out. That was a tough night.
Although things are getting back to the "new normal," I will never forget that week. I am grateful I was able to be a part of it in some small way. I am grateful for the lessons I learned, including that a true friendship never breaks. True friends are always there for one another no matter how far the distance that may seem to grow between them in life.
Love you J.
Jenni,
My name is LaVon Blalock, my oldest daughter went to school with you.First off, I want to thank you and Pete for sharing this with the world. I have been very interested in how this has "changed" everyone's lives. I've never blogged, but I am so proud that you've are keeping this going thru the recovery time. I wish your family the best.
Now for the anonymous person, I totally agree with Jenni, go find something else to do if you aren't interested. Love you Girl! LaVon Blalock
dear anonymous. what is it you are in need of? do you not have a happy life? Sorry that you are so shallow cold and heartless. This is an event that must not relate to you in anyway. alot of people have been affected by this in a very positive way. so why do you have the need to be anonymous in your negative comments. Maybe you should take Jen's invite to stop reading you must have some Big problems that is all I have to say so take it else where. Sorry you can't feel the strong postive Spirit that is here. Your loss not ours we have been very Blessed and can see and feel that wish you were in better tune so you could also know of Our Fathers Blessings. All I can say is Jen kept done what your doing and the Lord will contiue to Bless you. Kathy Walker Jen's Mom
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