lesson learned, again

i know many of you have been following the stakerz blog, you know the family whose little boy almost died due to a drowning. last night i read these words on her blog.

"If you've ever thought you were alone, think again.

If you've ever thought you were an island and your choices were yours alone, think harder.

If you've ever had the audacity to feel lonely... Well, Ha! I have, too!

But we were both wrong, you & I.

No one is ever alone.

Ever."

i thought a lot about those words last night, feeling like there are choices that i make that don't really affect anyone, feeling like i am alone when there is not someone climbing all over me. if there's no one around, then i must be alone right? and that decision to be alone must not be affecting anyone but me having some down time. with that thought still in my mind today, i experienced a tiny glimpse of what she was talking about. i thought my choice to sit down at the computer today and be alone for a few minutes were not going to affect anyone but me. i learned quickly that my choice was still tied to someone.

while i was sitting, i could hear sam and will playing in my little salon room. i knew i should have checked on them, but i just wanted another minute of down time. i failed to consider that down time for me meant free, unsupervised time for two little ones around here. i still knew i should've checked, but i didn't. i didn't check until the loud crash forced me up. there was will laying face down on the floor under the sink. i picked him up. he had a bloody mouth, a bloody nose, a cut across the bridge of his nose, and an instantly swollen nose that made me fear it was broken. while i was having my down time, they were spinning each other in the chair. i bet you can guess how long that lasted.

he was ok eventually. i am grateful for the constant reminders that our actions do always matter. that we as mothers are always tied to someone, and all of our choices have the potential to always affect our little ones.