wish for change

december 25, 2007
"to see myself how i really am."
5 years ago my sister gave my family a christmas box.
the idea was to write a gift you would like to give jesus that year.
that's the gift i wrote to give.
to see myself like i really am.
that would be a gift.
maybe more like a gift for me.
or maybe a wish.
it has been the birthday candle wish i have made every year as long as i can remember.
my birthday is in 1 week.
i'm not going to make that wish this year.
it seems i'm having trouble making that one come true.
i seem to be stuck in the same place year after year.
this year i'm going to wish that i will stick to doing the things that i know will help clear my vision.
one thing at a time.
do it until it's mastered,
even if it takes the whole year.
i'm starting with gratitude.
i know we all have things to complain about,
but it can be too easy to focus on those things instead of remembering all we have to be grateful for.
if i can pull it off,
then next year i can at least say i've been grateful.
and that's a start.
i'm ready for this change.
happy birthday to me.