getting a sense

when my kids were 1st born i was instantly looking for traits that were familiar.
who did they look like,
and as they grew,
who did they act like.
was it more me or more pete?
and anytime i saw a glimmer of the things they did like me i was certain they were just like me,
but as soon as i saw them kick back like pete i was certain they were more like him.
as they have grown through this year of school,
i'm getting a sense that they are mostly just who they are.
they are sam, will, maggie.
today sam had a field trip to the zoo.
he was extremely excited!
up at 6:45.
he had a dream that he woke up late and missed the bus for the field trip.
we tried chasing it down until dinner and never caught it.
that was one reason he was up early.
the other was because he wanted to decorate a lunch bag to take his lunch for the field trip.
i thought 'oh, that is totally like me!',
so i busted out the brown paper lunch sacks.
that's not what he had in mind.
he wanted a plastic grocery bag.
he didn't want his lunch to rip out of the bag.
i felt inclined to tell him no and make him use the paper.
then the sense hit me.
he is not me.
he is him,
and he wants to take his school lunch in a plastic target bag decorated with zoo animals and flame letters that spelled his name.
i was imagining the turkey sandwich in the bag when he made his own request.
he asked for a breakfast delight.
fyi.... a breakfast delight is a fried egg & cheese with a sausage patty on a toasted sandwich thin glazed with a bit of jam.
that's what he wanted for his lunch,
in his plastic sack,
at the zoo,
with all his classmates.
i only questioned him by making sure he didn't mean he wanted it for breakfast.
he meant lunch,
so that's what he got.
he ate it all.
i know because i saw the empty sack in his lunch bag that he was delighted to bring home.
this all happened 2 days after he said
"mom, do you remember what i brought in my lunch the 1st day of school?"
i didn't forget.
it was tuna & white bean salad, a boiled egg, and watermelon.
he said "when can i have that again? it was the best lunch ever."
i am certain he is just sam,
(and will is will & maggie is maggie)
and my vision for him (& the others) has gotten so much bigger after i realized he's not just a me clone.
he is a real person that will take me on adventures that i would never know otherwise.
however, when i saw him putting together another folder with loose leaf paper this afternoon
and then doing self-prescribed math drills all evening,
i was tempted to think he was just like me.
now i have the sense to know otherwise.