we will never forget

i wasn't afraid to go to sleep last night.
i wasn't worried that pete wouldn't wake up this morning.
i still remember every detail of pete's cardiac arrest 2 years ago,
and i recall those details often,
luckily without the fear & anxiety that accompanied those memories before.
i'm certain not a thanksgiving weekend will pass without much reflection on the events of 2009,
how immensely our family was blessed,
and where we have come because that whole experience.
last year i was certain that it would always be so easy to celebrate and shower pete with my gratitude.
that is how the whole first year was spent,
i was grateful for every breath he took,
and i would find a way to let him know how grateful i was to have him here and breathing.
with the healing of our traumatic event,
and with the normalcy of life so perfectly restored,
i'm ashamed to admit that the intensity of living somehow has gotten overlooked.
in so many ways it feels like it never happened,
so there's not the memory or the drive to show pete everyday how lucky and happy we are that he is still here.
but it did happen.
and he is still here.
and in my quiet moments i am oh so grateful for that.
but this year i don't want to wait for my quiet moments to feel gratitude.
i want to find ways everyday to thank him for being here,
to show him how he still lights up our life,
and how much we appreciate all he does with his life,
especially right here in our family.
so, here's to another year of celebrating,
and never forgetting,
and maybe using an occasional exclamation mark to show him. :)