present to past

so many moments have prompted this post...

a grandma who admitted to me that she is finally entering the old season of life,

a college graduation,

close friends putting offers on a new house,

watching my babies' 1st year videos,

making changes to our house.

it truly just feels like i was in the 8th grade and at home with my grandma french braiding my friends' hair before a basketball game while she was making indian tacos for us,

or in the 11th grade playing pool in her basement with my group of friends as we were devouring her lemon cake,

or strolling around the mall with her picking out clothes at dillards or bras from victoria's secret.

it is also hard to believe that 9 years have passed since i found myself walking the stage at my own college graduation.

friends that have shared this neighborhood with us for the last 10 years just seem like they will always just belong in our life;

it has been the only way we have ever known it here.

i also sit holding my 3 & 5 year old watching and reminiscing about the days when they sucked on their toes, or scooted across the floor instead of crawling, or ate dirt, or smiled with only gums wondering how we have already grown out of those things.

and as i cleared old vines out of a rose bush in our backyard, i laughed as i remembered it being the crowning jewel of our backyard when we moved here.

we have made so many changes.

each one of these moments and every moment in between has seemed so permanent while i was there,

just like it would always be so.

but just as each present moment happened it quickly became the past,

yet it still feels like it should be happening,

right now,

just like it did when i was living it.

i don't like knowing that in 10 months this day will just be a memory,

thankfully a good memory,

but still just a memory.

i am going to try once again to take this lesson to heart.

i want to max out every day,

remembering that i only get to live it once,

and i want the memory to be a pleasant one.

at the end of every day,

i hope to find myself still jotting down the tender, boring, exciting, and normal lessons of each day.

i want to always be able to re-live it.