calm, accommodating, feisty, intense

i have a best friend from high school.

her name is emily.

we started college together, too.

during those defining college days of trying to understand the person that we were molding into,

we often played the adjective game.

we would give each other a specific adjective that described the most dominant trait that we saw in each other.

my favorite and most often adjective that she would use for me was "nice".

i must admit that at times i really wanted something more descriptive or more earth shattering.

however, now i just wish someone would use "nice" to describe me again.

during times since those days i have begged my sister and husband to play that game with me when i'm feeling a little lost in who i really am.

this last round of the game i'm still thinking about.

my sister's adjective for me was "feisty".

WHAT!?!

FEISTY?

like meaning aggressive, argumentative, confrontational, quarrelsome, discordant, warlike?

or full of nervous energy?

i'm still trying to decide exactly what she meant.

she reassured me that it wasn't a negative thing.

perhaps she meant something different than "feisty".

maybe she meant an adjective like the one pete used.

INTENSE.

i wasn't so sure that this was that much better!

i really began questioning who i have become!

how did i go from "nice" to "feisty and intense"!?!

i refused to internalize these adjectives in a negative way.

i dropped feisty right out of my mind and moved onto to thinking about what it means to be intense.

1. of an extreme kind; very great, as in strength, keenness,severity

2. having a characteristic quality in a high degree

3. exhibiting a high degree of some quality or action

4.having or showing great strength, strong feeling, or tension,as a person,

5. susceptible to strong emotion; emotional

now who can argue that this is such a bad thing?

i've been known to have strong emotions about a lot of things.

but i would rather have strong emotions than weak or mediocre ones.

especially for the people in my life, the activities i enjoy, and the desires of my heart.

and i've been known to have great strength on many occasions.

remember my husband did almost die from a cardiac arrest and i didn't panic & saved his life, just for starters.

oh, and i have some qualities at a very high degree...

like my desire to get things right.

and i've learned to recognize a lot of my strengths... physical, mental, and emotional,

and admittedly some of them could be categorized as an extreme kind.

while i am not "calm" like i described my sister

or "accommodating" like i described pete,

i am not ashamed to be "intense",

at least when it's intense about positive things.

i love that so many adjectives can be added to who we and the not so flattering adjectives can be dropped.

i'm hoping to take my intensity and add new adjectives.

the adjective that i'm working on for this year is FUN.

who can argue with INTENSE FUN? :)