lesson on love, kind of

there has been no question that this experience has deepened our relationship. for the last 2 months our relationship has been so amazing i was certain that we were experiencing a once in a lifetime thing. i have been so grateful, and i'm still holding on to much of that. however, i have to admit, that as our lives have "normalized" more it is almost as if part of the euphoria has started wearing off. i think we both have started doing things that may drive the other one crazy from time to time; they are just little, normal things, but i have been very disappointed by this. i was convinced that our relationship would always be as perfect feeling as it has been with no interruptions at all. i've found myself being down about it on several occasions questioning where we have gone wrong.

i'm thankful for a lesson that makes me know that we haven't done anything wrong. early in december i had struggled with a similar thought blogged about here. a previous co-worker of pete's left a comment that i think will always help me in times like this. she wrote:

"i know, better than most, how you feel. My husband had stage 4 cancer. He has beat it. I thought he would never anger me again if I could just keep him. I promise you are changed. Although we are human with all that goes with being human, this experience will always impact you. You and Pete will fight, but your heart will soften quickly. Kids will be naughty, you will yell, but you will hug quicker. Be patient with yourself..."

i have found that this has applied to us. even though pete may do things that hurt my feelings at times, i am grateful that my heart does soften much more quickly now. it doesn't feel good to be angry anymore. i am still impacted deeply and our relationship is at a whole new level, but we are still human with all that that involves. we will just keep working and doing our best, and i know our relationship will always possess this new depth.