remember

i was remembering will's birth and the surrounding events.
it had been such a hot summer,
perhaps the hottest i can remember!
our street was being worked on for a few weeks,
and we had to park about a block from our house a few days before he was born because they had laid fresh, new asphalt.
those were hot walks with a big belly,
carrying a heavy 20 month old.
miserable really.
the night before he was born i found myself on norma's back patio with my swollen feet up trying to relax.
i told her i just did not feel right
and how it felt impossible to make it 6 more weeks for my baby's delivery.
the next night i had a major nesting craving.
the last bit of painting in the nursery was the bead board.
i stayed up til midnight painting it.
i was hot, exhausted, and relieved to have it done.
after a quick shower i collapsed into bed.
after half an hour of sleep sam crawled into bed next to me.
within minutes i was getting wet from a warm liquid.
i was certain sam was peeing on me.
i moved him,
and it wasn't him.
i couldn't believe that i would be peeing my pants!
i got up for the bathroom.
after sitting i realized i wasn't peeing at all.
my water broke,
and it was gushing into the toilet.
i called for pete,
and then i called for the phone.
i called norma.
through tears i told her what was happening.
i sobbed about what i was going to do.
she calmly reassured me that i was going to go to the hospital and have a baby.
that's exactly what i did.

in the past few days leading up to will's birth date,
i have remembered many things about his arrival to earth.
just as i haven't forgotten that time,
i hope to not forget this time either.
i want to remember...
our family daily thanks tonight was about will.
i was thankful that he is so easy to please.
pete was thankful that he's always happy.
sam was thankful to have him to play with.
(maggie was asleep)
i also want to remember how after our candlelit dinner we all got to make a wish for will before he blew out all the candles.
i wished he will not feel afraid for kindergarten and that he will find happiness there.
pete wished he could find many things in life that he loves.
sam wished he could have all the wishes he wanted.

i want to remember how it feels to have him in our family,
exactly right now.
he may get worked up a lot when sam gets near him or touches him,
but he would always choose to have sam around.
he loves to help me cook, especially if it involves cracking eggs or turning the blender on high.
i want to remember how much he loves cats, especially smokey lala
and how he didn't give up on begging for one and how the new hasn't worn off for him.
i want to remember how he loves to take you on a bike ride,
and he always starts the ride by saying "just follow me.".
we often end up in the woods by mill street.
i will remember how he was born to ride bikes,
but how he also hates going up the hill by the library and he even cries about it sometimes and wants to take a lot of breaks and begs for the bike trailer.
i want to remember watching him teach himself to rollerblade,
but how he still wants you to hold his hand while he crosses the street on his skates.
i will remember how he could care less about money.
if he has it, he wants to spend it.
he could care less about working to earn money,
but he has offered to pay sam if he will do his daily jobs for him.
he is generous,
not just with money but with everything.
i will remember that mischievous smile he has every time he is telling a story or a little lie,
or how sometimes he won't even mess with the smile and will just tell you it was a story.
i will remember he says it likes it is if he's not feeling too shy,
like telling you that you are bothering him if you are.
i will remember how much you like screen times and how you prefer to just use them first thing in the morning.
your game choice is friv and mario.
whenever you want to play you say "i just want to show you this cool game on friv.",
but you don't really want to show me, you just want me to get you logged on.
i will remember how you never mind doing garbages for your daily job,
and you are equally good at vacuuming the rug.
i will remember that he always says his best friends are emi, mackey, stockton, logan, and kol & luk.
i will remember that those are the only people he cared about coming to his birthday party at get air and at 7-11 for free slurpees.
i will remember all he wanted for his birthday was a remote control car,
and he is a pro at driving it.
i will remember waking sam up in the middle of the night because he loves to put the balloon wall around will's bed for his birthday and get everything (the presents and the beattles birthday song) set just right for will's special morning and seeing will be so pleased with it.
i will remember that he is 3 inches taller today than he was last year, measuring in at 48 inches and 48 lbs (82nd percentile for height).
i will remember that he has grown so much since the beginning and that he is still growing.
he is growing through some anxious moments with a mom and dad who will always love and support him.
i will remember that he is about to go off into the world of school soon but how grateful i am that we had an extra year with him at home,
and how pleasant he has been for each of these years.
i will remember you, will, just the way you are.