at the end

at the end of this trip i have realized many things.
i have realized that....
pete & i would a love a trip away once a year,
i enjoy being with pete & feel like i could be around him all the time,
i enjoy eating dinner at 7:30,
& exercising at 9 pm,
going to bed at midnight & waking up at 8:30.
i have realized how much i adore roadside antique stands over antique malls.
i enjoy getting in and out of the car without carseats & coaxing.
it's nice to go in a store without supervising 6 little hands.
i like being able to read a book without being interrupted every 4 sentences,
and i like not having to spend a large chunk of time in the hotel pool.
i have also realized that i wouldn't want this lifestyle all the time.
i choose my kids,
and i choose being a mom,
even over the freedom.
i have realized that i love many things about where i live.
i love my neighbors,
i love having my family so close and all the benefits that brings.
i love my job,
and i love the seasons.
and the snow.
i love the distance we are from sam's school,
and i have realized how important the chinese immersion program is for my children.
i love the mountains,
and i realize how much inspiration that a part of me finds there to be the kind of person i want to be.
i love the access to almost anything you could want.
i have also realized that my dream house is a white 2-story farmhouse,
with acreage, a barn, stream, and forest all in your backyard,
and i prefer the midwest pricetag that would allow you to get that for $235000.
i have realized how badly i want cats, chickens, bees, and a pumpkin farm.
i have realized how much a part of my heart craves this simple life,
and i have realized what a bind i am in to ever have to decide which life i want the most.
i have realized how lucky i am to be able to choose,
how lucky we are to carve out our own destiny.
and i have realized how lucky i am to have a husband who would so perfectly know that this is exactly the kind of trip i like taking.
i have realized all the reasons i am so lucky.