a new beginning

my cast came off today.
i'm still a bit lost for words.
i feel as if i've been catapulted into a new life,
at least a new body.
the leg was incredibly hairy & dry & weak when the cast came off,
but that's not the change.
it moves different.
it is tight.
it doesn't flop.
it doesn't fold up.
my big toe is straight,
and i pushed myself up on my toes for the first time ever in my life.
it has healed perfectly,
but the doctor explained that the real healing is just beginning and will go on for months.
i need more muscle before it all begins to work to full capacity.
i don't do well waiting,
so i pushed it too hard tonight to prove to myself that the healing would come quickly.
the boys wanted me to celebrate by riding my bike with them around the block,
so i did.
i went shoe shopping.
i went to target for groceries,
and my foot became so swollen & painful i didn't know how i was going to get out of the store.
thankfully i'm home now,
painted my toenails,
and kept it up.
the real healing is just beginning.
i will still be using a crutch for support.
i will be wearing running shoes
(still 2 different sizes)
but with no custom orthotic.
and i still won't be chasing my kids like i thought
or scrubbing my house from top to bottom like i hoped.
i still have healing to do,
and i'm grateful it is free to heal with the doctor's reassurance that there's no way i can undone or injure the work at this point even though it may feel like i can.

what a relief!